I have known that I was an extreme introvert for a long time now. So my son, Dakota, suggested I take one of those personality test to determine what exactly was my personality type. It turns out that I am one of the rarest types for females. I am a INTJ.
INTJs form just two percent of the population, and women of this personality type are especially rare, forming just 0.8% of the population - it is often a challenge for them to find like-minded individuals who are able to keep up with their relentless intellectualism and chess-like maneuvering.
See, I always knew I was a strange one!
So how does a female INTJ deal with the world?
Very carefully!
I have a difficult time dealing with even friends and family at times, let alone the rest of the human population.
I have anxiety attacks and a sense of overwhelming dread when I have to be in a new social enviroment. This can make life difficult but I have learned simple techniques that help me in my life, in my business, and in my relationships.
My number one technique:
Scripting!
What do I mean by scripting?
Before I enter into a new social or business enviroment I actually play out conversations, scenrios and anything that could possibly happen at these events.
I walk myself through as many possiblities as possible before I even get out of my home to drive to these situations. I ask myself, What will "Jane Doe" say?
What will "John Doe" do?
What should I say to keep the conversation going?
How can I interact with everyone while still being quiet and introspective?
Some of these scripting sessions last days while others are just hours.
So many options and thoughts go into everyday outtings.
Yes this helps but sometimes I still get overwhelmed. There are times that even after my scripting work, I have anxiety attacks. Although, with scripting these are not as bad as they were when I was younger.
My second technique:
This one comes really naturally for me.
Analysis
Once I am in a new social situation I spend about 5 to 20 minutes examining the whole social terrain. Some people call it being a wallflower, or people watching.
Here is when I take my silent notes in my head about what everyone is doing, saying, wearing, and anything else that may help when I am faced with a dreaded conversation.
Don't get what I am saying wrong. It is not like I dislike or dread the people who I am having conversations with (well for the most part.)
It is literally the act of conversing and trying to be "normal" that is the dreaded part.
This is probably why I do so much better with the written word rather than the spoken. I can see what I am saying and analyze my own words so much better when they are right in front of me.
My third technique:
Comfort
Sounds strange but if you watch long enough you should find someone or something that brings you into your comfort zone. This can be as simple as a photo on the wall or kids playing tag outside. Sometimes it can be difficult to spot something but I have found that I can do this in most situations.
So when scripting isnt working, and analysis has not quite made me feel at ease I go toward my comfort.
I love art and anything creative so if there is something in the space that looks creative or a great piece of art, I position myself close to that object or activity. This way I can steer the conversations in a direction that I feel comfortable with. In family get togethers I tend to be in the "babysitting" role.
Why?
I find it is easier to be in anxiety filled situations if you surround yourself with carefree personalities. And who else is more carefree than kids. I also think that kids help to bring out a creative side in most people, which helps me stay in my comfort zone.
Above are justa few of the techniques that I use when dealing with the world as an introvert. Are you an introvert?
Do you have any tips or suggestions that I can impliment in my attempt to deal with the world?
If so please post a comment below.
Or do you find these techniques helpful? If so I would love to hear from you.
I would love for you to follow my life and my "Side" Stories.
Thanks
~AJ
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for visiting aBeesCreations Blog. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.